I also offer divorce and other family-related mediation as an alternative to collaborative divorce and traditional litigation.  A mediator is a neutral third party who meets with the couple or parents to facilitate their discussions and ultimate agreements.  Even if the mediator is an attorney, he or she does not act as an attorney in this context, meaning they don’t give legal advice to either party, or advocate for either party.

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Mediation is voluntary.   Either party may end the mediation process at any time.

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Mediation is confidential.  What is said or offered in mediation is inadmissible in court.

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Mediation is based on full transparency and good faith.

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As a mediator, I guide my clients through the following stages:

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• Exchanging financial information through the completion of Illinois form financial affidavits and the exchange of supporting documentation.

 

• Preparing a marital estate asset and debt balance sheet, and making sure both parties understand the balance sheet.

 

• Facilitating discussion and agreement of how to divide the marital estate.

 

• Calculating guideline maintenance (formerly known as “alimony”) in terms of amount and duration, and discussing possible deviations from the guidelines and/or buyout options.

 

• If children are involved, helping the parents develop their agreements regarding:
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  • The decision-making in the four required areas:  medical, educational, extracurricular activities and religion.
     

  • Other child-related issues, such as introducing new significant others or special needs of the children.
     

  • Calculating guideline child support and discussing possible child support deviation scenarios.
     

  • The payment of child-related expenses such as uncovered medical expenses, child care, extracurricular activities, camps, tutors, and school fees.
     

  • The decision about who will cover the child(ren) on their medical, dental and optical insurance, and the sharing of cost for that.
     

  • The payment of college or other post-high school education expenses.
     

  • The details of the parenting schedule, including the regular weekly schedule, holiday schedules, summer vacations, school breaks and so on.

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After detailed decisions have been made by the parties in all of the areas above, then I draft a “Memorandum of Understanding” (MOU) which contains all of the details necessary for the final divorce documents to be drafted and submitted to the court for final approval and granting of the divorce or parenting agreement.

 

In Illinois, if an attorney has served as a mediator for the couple, that attorney cannot then represent either party in the final divorce proceedings.  Unless the couple plans to represent themselves in court and prepare all of the necessary documents, then at least one of the parties will hire an attorney to represent them and prepare those final documents.  An attorney can’t represent both parties in a divorce, so the attorney can only represent one of the parties.  The other party usually gets their own attorney, or they can choose to represent themselves in the finalization of the divorce.